I lost my touch on writing ledes. Call it falling out of practice. But I have things to say and time to write so we’re diving right into the topic—hobbies, or how I’m trying to find meaning in life and not just rot away. Hint: It’s not easy!
But, hobbies I’ve had to find. Well, I suppose I don’t have to find them but I also don’t want to sit alone in my room at night and not do anything productive. We can define productive, if you must: Something that makes my brain work and, hopefully, expand. I am binning video games from this discussion for two reasons: One, I actually don’t play them much anymore, and two, the ones I do play don’t expand my brain. They’re mindless.
So what have I done instead? Gone even nerdier while also doing stuff to get me active. A ying and yang of male desire: I play Warhammer 40k and basketball now. Oh, and read. Wait, I’m writing, too! That’s FOUR hobbies. Holy moly, here I was thinking I had none!
Now, I wish the hobbies were *cooler* hobbies. And that avenue is still being explored. But baby steps are the keys to progress, and with the rate I’ve been going I’m taking all I can get. What I’ve found in both of these hobbies, is that my mind and my body are working in cohort to get things going. I’m enjoying working on that mind-body connection (that I neglected for too long).
Geoff, what do you mean body work with 40k? It’s miniatures and a tabletop game. How can your body be working? Well, fine motor skills is what I mean by body work. I currently have about 500 points of Adepta Sororitas units assembled—yes, assembled–in front me, and each figurine 1.5” tall and has no fewer than seven parts per model that have to be assembled. That means the individual parts are a couple centimeters big, in some instances. For a 6’3” guy with big-ass hands, do you know how small these pieces are? I remember doing the first kit, and my hand cramped on unit 1 (of 10). Yesterday, I cranked out eight figurines—no hand cramping.
To me, that meant more than the satisfaction of seeing the sisters assembled. There’s something relaxing, to me, about looking at the directions, pulling out the sprue and the cutters, cutting out the small pieces, working with a hobby knife to shave the excess plastic, applying glue, and placing it together—all without covering yourself in superglue (Loctite Super Glue gel control, if you want to get me a Christmas present!) or cutting yourself (RIP left thumb, left index finger currently). And while it’s not some big, wood-worked structure that is obvious to see, there is something rewarding in seeing something go from parts to final product.
What’s even crazier—I don’t know if I’d have to put these girls down on a table and compete to get my value out of them.
That’s one of the things I’m enjoying about 40k as a whole—it’s not just a tabletop game. It’s an entire IP, with books (Eisenhorn Omnibus has been my intro vehicle, what a book series so far!) and video games and mobile games and more officially licensed merchandise than you can shake a stick at. I’m listening to a 40k podcast as I write this, listening to the hosts discuss Adepta Sororitas vehicles and why they are so badass (shout out Bricky, great person to get you going on the 40k lorehole journey).
Going back to my definition of what makes something productive, my mind actively works during the assembly process as I deal with the assembly process and, eventually, paint the figurines (color scheme paralysis is getting me right now). It’s also expanding, although in this case the stuff my brain is being filled with is going to be pretty niche for now, but someday I’m going to be at a trivia night and they’re going to ask who the five sisters were with Alicia Dominica in the Emperor’s Throne Room during the Age of Apostasy, and I’m going to stand up and scream “KATHERINE, MINA, LUCIA, ARABELLA, AND SILVANA!” and will win my team the game. I’ve seen a vision, don’t doubt me.
On the (virtual) tabletop itself, I’ve found 40k to be a serious brain exercise. Between the data sheets for the units, the army rules, the detachment rules, board rules, missions, and then a whole other army worth of data—there’s a lot to process. I’ve only just started dipping my toes into the Table Top Simulator realm, but each time I’ve come out mentally exhausted from the thought processes going on.
My record so far is pretty shit. Been curb stomped by someone, lost some narrow ones, and eked out two wins. But, the wins and losses aren’t that important, I’m finding—it’s just been enjoyable sharing an interest with people froma round the globe. And I do mean globe so far—played with a dude deep in South America, the UK, central Europe, and some American blokes. Pretty damn cool. Also, despite how brutal they can be to me, rolling dice in any format is fun.
So is playing basketball. The active hobby I’ve picked up and wished I had never put down. Playing ball is fun—full stop. No matter how I’ve played, when I’ve played, or who I’ve played, I’ve had a ball (lol) every single time.
My hoops group comes through work. Faculty and staff members—plus a few friends—congregate in the gym on Wednesday nights for a two-hour reprieve from the rigors of prep-school life. It’s enjoyable watching the history department head loosen up and sling jokes and three-pointers, seeing the math tutor who’s actually the best of all of us just go off, the overly competitive football coach who I swear just wills the ball into the basket sometimes—I could go on and on.
Yet for all I see come out in others, it’s the vibes the emanate from me that keeps me running up and down the court. I have to be honest when I say I’ve played…mid so far this school year. Again, when I let the game pass me by I did so without ever being much of a shooter. In modern basketball, I am a gigantic fucking dinosaur.
Fuck it, ball up top!
Grabbing a rebound, setting a screen to get someone open, getting a block in a moment where I shouldn’t have been able to—all feelings that just bring me joy. These two hours really are the only I get all week where my brain stops thinking about the rest of the world. I’m grateful that I found this outlet again.
I wear the cheapest Nike basketball shoes I could find—some Giannis’s, if you’re curious—and my lung capacity still isn’t the greatest, but it’s nice not caring and just playing. For someone who feels oddly judged all the time—terrible character flaw FWIW—I feel surprisingly comfortable in my own skin out there. It’s refreshing. Most of all, it reminds me that it’s completely OK to fail sometimes. Ball doesn’t go in the bucket? Better get back and play defense. That’s a life lesson everyone needs to know.
I’m optimistic that this journey into finding hobbies is going more places. I’ve attended history lectures recently and want to go to more. I will go see an opera or classical production sometime in 2025. That basketball bit might be expanding into a paid role. I’m embracing freelance writing work when I can. I’ve just typed 1,250 words without even thinking about it.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in the doom and gloom when going through low moments. But I’m finding that it isn’t hard to get out there and do something. What I’ve dove into so far has given me countless benefits I’m only starting to see—and it’s high time to keep on exploring.
A Whately Devil 